Bogus Caffeine Survey

Here is an annoyingly misformatted article about caffeine consumption in the U.S. Why do people center-align huge chunks of text? My suggestion is to simply copy that whole page and paste it into your favorite text editor (Word is not a text editor) and it will be rendered readable.

The numbers were generated from a telephone survey of residents of various American cities in August and September this year. I would guess that Salt Lake City was not one of the cities they called. It would have been interesting to see if it came out low on the list, but it shows up no where.

A few highlights:

- The city with the highest rate of caffeine consumption (that's caffeine from all sources, not just coffee) is Chicago. The lowest is the San Francisco Bay Area?! Wha?! That seems highly unlikely. I'm guessing the sophisticated, busy San Franciscans who consume vast quantities of caffeine just didn't have time to talk to some phone survey person and hung up.

- The city with the highest rate of coffee consumption (now we're talking only about coffee) is, of course, Seattle. But I think as a matter of civic pride they're required to say that. The lowest rate of coffee consumption is Dallas/Fort Worth?! Again, that seems unlikely.

- Chicago tops the list in cola drink consumption which the survey describes as "Regular Coke, regular Pespi [sic], Mountain Dew." Does that mean they excluded diet colas from the survey?

- Highest rate of tea consumption is in Miami, followed by Tampa. So I guess that's iced tea. But Boston is fifth from the bottom on tea consumption? I find that extremely unlikely. Maybe the Boston tea drinkers have all put their phone numbers on the do-not-call list.

- Here's the really interesting discovery: highest rate of energy drink consumption is in Riverside/San Bernardino! Explain that one.

The survey and article are sponsored by Healthsaver which is some sort of business with which Peggy Fleming is associated.

The article includes this juicy information:

The health benefits of caffeine are plentiful and well-documented in numerous studies in recent years. Coffee and tea, in particular, have emerged as good health food sources that can lower the risk of diabetes, heart disease, Parkinson's disease, colon cancer, and cirrhosis of the liver, as well as lift your mood, treat headaches and even lower risk of cavities. Caffeine also enhances athleticism, endurance and performance, according to health care experts.

That may all be true, but if it is so very true, I think it would have been easy to include a link or the name of one of these health care experts. Otherwise, anybody might come along and assert that a daily breakfast of three eggs fried in old bacon fat and served up on Wonder bread with mayonnaise is the key to vibrant and dynamic health (it's certainly been the key to my vibrant and dynamic health), according to health care experts.